Friday, 29 January 2010

Free from the stitch of doom at last!

Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I saw my surgeon today and he removed my lower right stitch for me. I told him it was irritating me so he had a look, and it had 'puckered' somewhat and looked a little sore, so he took it out. It's not infected or anything, just aggravated (as I was!).

He also talked to me straight away about my bad skin that I've suddenly developed post-op. He said that after the surgery you tend to get quite spotty and irritated (be it from whatever they put on your face or what, I don't know). Seriously my chin is hideous at the moment, and when the pimples first appeared it felt like a rash or that I'd been nettled. I usually have one or two spots, but I've got a whole colony at the moment! So will just have to wait for them to go in their own time (with the help of some face wash)

That was it really- he was pleased, I was pleased (I said thankyou to him about 50 times during the course of the appointment. To which he replied 'sweetie, we can't just sit and pat eachother on the backs for the good job' -just noticed that in writing that perhaps sounds patronising, but trust me it wasn't :D -. But I said thanks again nonetheless).

He pointed out that my smile/midline is off (which I have noticed but don't care) but it's quite natural. Perfection is not what I was after- normality was. And perfect isn't natural! I immediately thought of the stupid reality 'star' Heidi Pratt (quite) who's been in my glossy and silly mags recently because of the plastic surgery she's had done; she looks absolutely grotesque! (

Anyway, that was a bit off topic! Sorry :P

He said because my lower lip and chin are tingly it means the nerve is just damaged so feeling will start to come back (it's called paraesthesia, don't you know). He also mentioned my facial movement generally, and that because they lift up the muscle from the face (of all the things to be squeamish about, this disturbs me a little!) it takes quite a while for them to get back to normal. Because I'm still swollen as well, my face does look a little odd when I smile.

So, anyway, he said not to chew for at least another month, but other than that everything is great. I'll see him again just for a last check up in 3-6 months.

PS- next week my family are going out for a meal. I'm going to go along and sit with my 2 year old niece. I can wipe her food off her chin, and she can wipe mine! :D

PPS- I weighed myself today and I haven't lost any weight. Seriously? Damn, even a broken jaw can't stop me it seems! Oh well, lol

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Day 15

I don't know if time has gone quickly or not. At day 15 I feel totally fine, except I'm still swollen and of course eating like a 2 year old.

Also I've got a bit more space to have a poke around my mouth, and I've realised why my lower right stitch hurts so much (or did's improved somewhat now it's starting to loosen)- the stitch goes from my gum to my cheek, so I'm kind of sewn together at the side. As such, I'm going to try not to try and pull myself apart lol

Thought I'd list what I've been eating too. I had little range of movement for the first week, so my main source of energy had to come from the shakes and soups (ugh). But I was still quite weak for most of the week. Anyway, since I've been able to open my mouth more, I've been eating anything 'normal' I can that is soft and in small enough pieces for me not to have to chew it (the 'fork smash' stage). I really think this has helped me so much, because when all you do is just drink everything, you can feel almost bloated, and that you're drinking endlessly. Like when I had SARME, I went straight back to eating normally as soon as I possibly could. There's no point being extra miserable in all this, and despite it possibly being nice to lose a little bit of weight, I'd rather enjoy a good dinner (as much as is possible to have a 'good dinner' when you can't chew) and some ice cream! Although the concept of snacking has gone out of the window, which I suppose is a good thing. Instead I've been eating 3 square meals, and then something sweet now and then. A lot of what I have has to be cut into tiny pieces, but it's not too strenuous really :D So I've been eating:

Weetabix (mainly just for the first week)
Porridge (same)
Cheese on soft toast (in tiny pieces)
Beans on soft toast (in slightly larger pieces as the juice softens the bread more. Also don't know if beans on toast is just a UK thing, but anyway...)

children's type pasta shapes in tomato sauces (with/without toast)
Milkshakes (I don't really have any milkshake stuff except ice cream and milk, so I added cadbury's chocolate fingers, and a banana...random, but nice!) need to buy some sort of ice cream sauce though I think. I love butterscotch, but can't find it anywhere. Will have to make do with toffee
Nurten energy milkshake (I got given these from the hospital. Had them mainly in the first week but I still have some left. They are really nice, actually)

Pastas and sauce (spaghetti, or pasta generally)
Sausage casserole (with mash and yorkshire puddings)
Chicken with mash, well-done veg, yorkshire puddings and gravy
Fish in cheese sauce with veg (I tend to just have broccoli and cauliflower, as these are easiest to eat)

To satisfy the part of me that needs to eat something bad:
Custard (or creme anglais if you want to be posh)
Hot chocolate (not really bad, but then not really good either!)
Ice cream
my mum bought me a little apple crumble compote thing today, so I'm going to try this. Yum

Also oddly enough, I've gone right off tea. I usually don't really go for coffee, but that what I've been drinking. Really miss my cup of tea, but it just seems off-putting to me somehow. I might try it tomorrow, though

I see my surgeon this Friday, and I'm hoping to see my X-Rays or to find out exactly how much movement I had done. Also hope he does something about my stitches. Still none have come out or disolved. The lower ones have loosened, but that's it. Also I've discovered why the one on my right side has caused me so much pain- the stitch is attached to the side of my cheek too as well as to my gum- so I'm kind of sewn together at that side

I've been sleeping on my side now too. It isn't 100% comfortable, and I find myself having to move every so often, but it's nice to just have some more movement. I've decided that my swelling is just residual now, and sleeping upright won't do much more for me at this point.

Also, I feel like I can officially say: I can breathe 100% through my nose alone [at night], and it feels great! It's odd to think that my jaws affected my airways, but then it's all connected isn't it.

Sunday, 24 January 2010


Well another post today!

I've just majorly pulled my lower right stitch by accident and it hurt so much that I've just been crying. I just don't know why it's so painful!

Also, I'm sure I'm starting to get a rash on my chin. It certainly looks and feels like a rash, but then how the hell can I get a rash? I haven't done anything! It's itchy now, but earlier it felt like I'd nettled my chin. And it's even more weird since my chin is still numb! So it's not like it's my nerves tingling, because I actually have little pimple things over it. I could just be really spotty all of a sudden, but they're very small and irritating spots if they are!

Ugh, I thought I was coping really well, but today I'm just annoyed

I'm going to go and listen to my favourite (calming) music* and take a long bubble bath!

* might as well share: - Fave song by by fave band :D

A little back-track...

First off- I hate these elastics! I'm sure I don't actually need them (well my surgeon didn't think I did, and my ortho just said they were more 'for comfort' than to actually do anything), and they are just irritating me no end. The left side is absolutely fine and I can't even tell I'm wearing them, but I have constant pressure on my lower tooth and it's driving my crazy. It's not painful, but it feels annoying like when you have something stuck between your teeth that you can't get out.

Anyway, thought I'd back-track to the actual day of the surgery, because I was so late to update I forgot to add the backstory of the day of the op!

I had to be there for 7.00, so we got up at around 5.15 and set off at 6.45-50. Anyway I knew there would be no traffic- but my mum wouldn't listen!- and we ended up getting there at 6.15! lol So we waited in the car until 7, then went to the reception. There was quite a queue of people actually which surprised me, but because it was general theatre admissions, obviously everyone having a day surgery was there, and whoever else like myself who would be staying longer but didn't require coming in the night before. Anyway we were waiting there until about 8.00, and then me and 2 other people got called into the ward 'holding area' (you just get ready there and then wait to be called down to theatre). They said I was third on the list with my surgeon, and so I might as well get ready straight away. So I got on the gown and the stockings (which I put on wrong twice! oh well). Then a nurse came round and went through all my details, and an assisstant came round to go through the procedure and I signed the consent form. At this stage they took an inventory of all my stuff and packed them away in a secure box since we thought I'd be going in pretty quickly. Anyway, I didn't actually get called to theatre until 11.45. So all that time I could have read a book or something, but they'd already taken away all my stuff. My mum decided to wait with me all the same, but boy was it a long wait.

Anyway, I finally went down- a nurse came to get me and it was like a 1 minute walk to the theatre. I got laid down and was seen to by 3 men, who started my IV, etc. Anyway we got to talking about being left-handed, because I'm a leftie, and one of the men was as well. The other guys called me cack-handed (a nice derivative from our neck of the woods, meaning bascially lefties are clumsy, lol). Anyway my surgeon appeared over me at this point to see how I was, and to apologise for the wait. Then, I fell to sleep!

I don't really remeber much about the first day. I had an oxygen mask on all night, and went to the loo at around 3.00 in the morning. I was ok getting there until I stood up again, and felt very nauseous. Thankfully I was sick in the sink and not on the floor! It was just blood and my medication that I threw up. Not exactly pleasant, but since I didn't have a splint or anything to contend with, it was straight out and done with :P

The main thing I disliked being at the hospital was just who I happened to share my ward with. Of course it's not their fault, but it's hard to sleep when the lady next to you starts choking at 2 in the morning and can't breathe. I was always on edge for her sake! Also they never bloody turned the lights off- and if there's one thing I can't do it is to sleep with lights on. So during the days for example, I wanted to sleep but couldn't.
The lady opposite me was funny though. She must have been there for ages because she was walking around like it was her own house. She would go for walks with her handbag, come back and use the nurses station and facilties, come over to us and open our food for us or pour us some one stage she actually went and turned off my light for me because she must have heard or seen me getting frustrated by it.

My surgeon came and saw me on the second day and said I was doing fine. The next day he didn't come, just a load of other doctors having a good stare. The dietician came to chat with me on one of the days, and gave me some Nutren drinks (like complan) and both a liquid diet recipe book, and a soft food one too (since at this stage we didn't know if I'd have a splint placed after all. Thankfully I didn't need it) Then the hygenist came and took me to a room, showed me how to brush and gave me some tips.

I had to be wheeled down to have an X-ray taken on the day I went home too. I didn't mind going for it, but I didn't want to be stared at by all the 'normal' people, lol. I know people can't help but have a bit of a stare, although actually it wasn't bad as I thought it would be. Also when I was going home I had to wait in the main recption while my mum brought the car rund. Anyway as I was there a little girl walked past me with her mum and seriously she didn't/couldn't take her eyes off me as she walked past. I was just thinking 'please don't cry! please do't cry! lol- since my swelling was so bad and I looked like a sea monster (that's my analogy, anyway!) I just thought my appearance might be too much for a child to handle. But no, she just stared at me insolently like a child does, as if to say 'WTF happened to you?!?!' lol

Anyway, that's my brief additioal history for you :D

I see my surgeon this Friday, and I'm hoping he'll get rid of some of these stitches, and also tell my ortho that I don't need to wear these BLOODY ELASTICS!!! Grrrrr

Also yesterday I ate a proper dinner, just in really small bits. I had chicken, yorkshire pudding, mash, broccoli and cauliflower, and gravy. It's the first time I've felt like I've eaten a proper meal.
I've also been eating sausages, tuna and jacket potatoes, cheese on toast sans the crust (in small pieces), pasta and yoghurts.
My mum keep trying to get me to have a Nutren soup, but I cannot stand soup and you know what, if I can manage normal food just in small pieces or mashed up a little, then I don't need to blend or just drink everything. I'm not eating as much as I normally would naturally, but I'm still getting enough energy. Still drinking the shakes now and then, though, because they happen to be quite nice, unlike soups!

Friday, 22 January 2010

Day 11

Again just a note to say sorry for lack of posts. It just happens that currently I have little internet access, so even though I want to update I can't. Sorry people! I will try and get some more photos soon and add them

My upper lip is a bit taut because of the stitches, so you can see my teeth when I'm at rest, and so I'm feeling a little mousy, or vole-y, or like some type of burrowing animal! Because the underbite is quite a masculine trait, my face just seems very sort of 'meek' looking now. Not something I have a problem with per se, because it's too early to see your new face shape yet.

Also the swelling has 'fallen' now to the bottom of my face and my cheeks. My ears no longer feel swollen! (odd feeling that was!). My nose is still swollen too, so I can't really comment on how that has changed.

My chin is totally numb, however the nerves 'surge' sporadically which is a good sign. My lower lip is also numb, but the actual flesh of it feels almost tickly when I touch it. Still, it makes drinking without dribbling difficult. Also because of the swelling they is quite a big dip between my lower lip and chin, so I hope that goes. But of course with the swelling it could take a while.

As for eating though, I think I'm going ok. I've been eating pasta, potatoes, tuna, sausages, ice cream, yoghurts. I'm not chewing, just moving around with my tongue and then swallowing.

The bands are slightly aggravating for me. My stitches are quite taut so getting in there to stretch my face wide enough is painful. But I'm managing to get them on. I seem to be able to do my left side better. Because I'm left handed, I can't really hold the appliance the correct way to do my right side because the hook part of the appliance is the wrong way round, so I can't hook the elastic on and pull it backwards. So when I do my right side I just have to move the elastic around a bit and hope it catches onto the correct bit. I get quite a swet on when I'm doing it! lol

Also on a slightly odd note perhaps, I think my pain meds were giving me bad dreams *, or at least dreams that were more bad than good (I did dream about Torvill and Dean one night! lol) I hardly ever dreamt before the surgery, and all last week I had vivid dreams every night. Not nightmares because they weren't scary per se, but the subject matter was negative. As such, I'm glad to be off my medications now!

* Now some of you might believe Freud's theory of dreams, but as a student of psychology myself, I personally don't buy dream interpretation What I do think is that the stuff I've been on has effected it 
PS- also I had an exam at uni this morning that I couldn't change, so had to go. Anyway I got 74% which is ok considering. If I did badly I was just going to play the ill card! :P

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Gah! My perfect conditions thwarted! lol

First off sorry for the lack of posts. I share the internet connection with my brother, and it is connected in his you do the maths!
So, I had elastics put on today. I was really hoping I could get away with wearing nothing for a while, but nevermind! :D They are just in a box-shape at either side that I need to keep on all the time basically. I can manage to eat with them on, but since I need to change them once a day anyway I might as well take them off before my main meal at night, so I can eat it with more ease, brush and rinse my teeth, then get them back on again. I suppose that's logical, and that's the plan.
I just hope I manage to change them easily enough, and without too much pain.

As for pain- I'm not taking my pain killers as ordered anymore, just when I feel I need them. The last few days I've taken just a small dose twice a day (one of those being at night just to be sure I would sleep ok). Today? I didn't take any. Though again I might take a small dose at night.
The only pain I get really is in the stitches, but only if they happen to be exacerbated. Today at my appointment for instance, they were hurting quite a bit!

As for photos- I'm really not good at taking them, but here are a few to give you a general idea of how things turned out. If my stupid lower lip would just cut me some slack and stop getting in my way, they might have been a bit clearer! As it is, I have to keep moving it out of the way!

Saturday, 16 January 2010

All went well

sorry for the delay- I'm fine in myself but my body has been too tired to allow me to function straight away!

I was going to post yesterday but as soon as I had my dinner I lapsed into a coma! Ok not really, but after I eat I get really tired

I came home yesterday...or maybe the day before I can't remember! Everything is fine, but I'm really, really, really swollen. But on the plus side it has already started to subside. I've been using ice on and off more for the fact that it feels nice on my face, but I think it has helped a bit too.

And guess what- I had no wafer, no bands, nothing. My surgeon said it went perfect and I didn't need anything. I have to be careful of course, and if I feel like something isn't right I need to let them know. But so far so good. My bite is awesome!

My chin in numb, but my lips keep tingling which is such a great feeling because it means the nerve is fine/ I can't feel the food dribbling down my face though, so eating is such a mess. But again, improvements are happening daily and today I manage to eat all my breakfast and get it all in my mouth; how clever am I?

I will post a photo as soon as I can. Yesterday the swelling was up near my eyes but it's settling around the chin and cheek area now, and I have no bruising at all. My lips feel massive and I have to sort of pull my lower lip back to eat/drink

Apart from the swelling and tiredness I feel amazing. The pain isn't too bad and so long as I keep on top of the medications I'm fine. Actually today I haven't had anything since 9.00 ish and I feel fine still. I'm glad I'm not in the hospital anymore- on my ward were 3 old women and one of them couldn't breathe well so I was always worrying about her. Also it's nice to sleep without being woken up at 6.00 in the morning to take stupid blood pressure! Grrr.....

On the first day I was sick, but I've been fine since. Eating is annoying in that you feel like you're eating loads when really you're not, so you have to keep on top of things. I got my mum to buy me some Lucozade today which actually perks me up a bit. I've been drinking water like mad, but it's nice to just get a little brurst of energy too.

The dietitian gave me 2 booklets off recipes and advice as well as some shakes, and the hygenist showed me how to brush and keep on top of that. However I haven't really brushed my teeth yet. I did briefly but I was too tired. I will try later because I'm feeling better today. I've had porridge and weetabix, and shakes and soups. It's hard to feel satisfied, but I'm not constantly hungry which I thought I would be.

I am however quite hungry now, so I'm going to go get something.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

So *I'm* the pessimist? Yeah right

Yesterday was my last appointment with my ortho to check if my wafer/splint fits (it did). I walked in all excited thinking well, they can't cancel the surgery at this stage, so I'm home free! Time to celebrate with my ortoh. Well, she was in total amazement that it hadn't been cancelled, and her and the assisstant were like 'give it until Friday! It could still be cancelled yet!' (also arranged my first post-op appointment which is the 22nd. She says I won't be best of friends with her on that appointment, but hopefully she won't torture me too much. She also showed me the model of how my new bite will be; it's pretty much a perfect bite, so both she and I were very pleased at the job she's done!)

It was slightly deflating to say the least! lol. So I waited with baited breathe today in case their prediction turned out to be true. But no cancellation today! I did get a call this morning though and thought, well this is it....but it was my local doctors again discussing paperwork. *phew*
 Honestly they must really get loads of cancellations the way talk, but hello, it's a week until my surgery! And it *still* hasn't been cancelled. Let's be optimistic about it, and stop scaring me please! I suppose they are trying not to get my hopes up, but I feel rather silly mentioning that my date still isn't final even though it's less than a week away.

So, I shall wait until tomorrow to decide whether or not I have firm assurance in my surgery going ahead . I really cannot imagine them cancelling it at the weekend or Monday, but as per my ortho, I'll wait until tomorrow.

If it gets cancelled from now to Tuesday I will be extremely pissed off!

I'm a woman on edge!

Monday, 4 January 2010

Mini post

Just wanted to say bloody hell, I'm only 8 days away!

That is all..... :D