Updates- Day 28

I'm currently eating a sandwich on a plate with a knife and fork lol. Nobody can deny the pleasures of a sandwich, and this is my first one since the surgery. The thing is that I'm back at uni now (though not for the full week- my plan is to go home on Thursdays because I don't have any lectures after then, so my mum can feed me better quality foods than I can feed myself here!) It's annoying because in between lectures, etc, I don't have time to go and sit down to 'eat', so I'm reduced to living off things like nutrigrain bars and smoothies during the day. You forget how much you need some convenience with food; for instance eating a sandwich on the go, which I obviously can't do.

However, I'm still pleased with how much I can actually eat. And to anyone with an upcoming surgery- if you don't need to be on a liquid diet, then don't (but if you do, sorry!). Do you know how depressing it is to only be able to have fluids? Try and eat what you can within reason (and obviously the first week you probably will just need liquids or very, very soft stuff); it makes such a difference psychologically, instead of drinking drinking drinking all day (you feel bloated, not satisfied). I'm not chewing anything, but that doesn't mean I can't eat anything.


In terms of pain- I only get it when I yawn. It's because my jaw is forced further than it wants to go, and it's hard to stifle a yawn without moving your jaws somewhat anyway. Also sometimes my jaw sort of spasms like it wants to tilt to the left again.

My areas of numbness are illustrated in this fantastic use of technological advancements:

So it's the majority of my chin, and say, half of my lip. The parts on the right side aren't 100%, but I can feel it! But I have paraethesia on the left side, which is a good sign. It's mainly pulsing and tingling, however sometimes if I catch my chin it will then start to itch, but sort of deep within. And of course I can't scratch it! Very strange feeling.

The swelling that's left and the odd, expressionless way that I smile is still there. I imagine they will remain for quite a long time, actually. But it's nothing too adverse really. I look on the verge of lookingswollen to perhaps just looking a bit weird, so I just tell people who I'm not close to but see regularly what's going on. It was the same telling people about my big gap between my front teeth after SARME lol.

I think I have a little ulcer near one of my stitches too. So I need to pick up my rinses so my stitches heal better, and so I don't get any more ulcers. And only one of my stitches has actually come out (other than the one my surgeon took out for me), so I don't know how long I'll be stuck with these! Again, it's nothing too bad, but I don't want them to get infected, and I can't really floss near them because they have loosened, but are still tender to touch.

An exemplary case?

I had an appointment with my ortho today; and I’ve come away feeling very good, and also very proud of my surgeon (does he need a teenage girl to be proud of him for just doing his job? Perhaps not!).


I was taken straight away to have an X-Ray, and then went to see my ortho. When the assistant came out to call me in she said ‘you look great’! A trainee was there too, who was comparing my X-Rays as I went in. I had a look and the difference was just crazy. I have the screws along my mandible (which I can feel), and then I have the others around the nose and upper jaw. My teeth like totally fit together man, and it’s awesome!

My ortho said for only 3 weeks everything looks amazing, and usually at this stage she needs to do a lot more work to get the bite stable, but in my case I don’t really need much doing because the surgeon did such a good job (see, that’s why I’m proud, or should I say privileged?). As such, she thinks I may only need the braces on for 3 more months, rather than 6. However I’m not at the point where I’m sick of my braces and want them off; I’m at the point where I’m thrilled to be on the right side of the surgery, and I actually have a decent bite and profile now. Still, it’s good that she has less to do.

She is still on with the elastics, though (since I came out of the surgery sans splint or elastics, and she thought I should have had them on- she keeps mentioning it all the time!); she said the surgeon must have been so pleased with himself that he didn’t want anything extra doing. I see her point of view in that it’s her job to get the teeth side of things perfect (or as near to perfect as anything can be) so she wanted the elastics to stabalise the bite. However, since the surgeon actually did do such a good job, then what’s the problem? He said he didn’t want to use the splint if possible because it’s horrible to live with (if I’d had to live on liquids for more than the few days that I did, I definitely would have felt horrible, and I think recovered less well), and since the bite fit together as it did, elastics weren’t necessary. But anyway, I think my ortho likes her elastics, and I’m happy with them so long as they remain in simple shapes that I can deal with!

She asked if I was ok to have a wire change and I said yeah, go for it. I’m not in pain and I’m numb anyway, so ... She changed the top wire, put back on 2 hooks for the elastics (which actually did hurt! Pressure on the teeth can get you even if your gums are numb), and added 2 powerchains to try and close my 2 gaps (my elastics go over the chains on the upper jaw). The elastics are in a trapezium shape rather than box now, but are in the same place as before so I can handle that. Also she let me have the lighter ones for more range of movement. Although to be honest, I was fine with the thicker ones because they weren’t particularly strong anyway; well certainly I could eat with them in.

She was pleased with my ROM anyway (I can open 2 fingers vertically, perhaps slightly more), as well as my cleaning (I’ve been trying the best I can, but I need to pick up a bit more. It’s hard though because I keep catching the stitches by accident because the hang down a little. Yesterday I made one bleed because I caught it with my toothbrush)



So all in all she was really pleased, the trainee said I looked great (my ortho told him to pass along the message to my surgeon that I looked great when he sees him later), the assistant said I looked great, the other ortho who works there popped in for something else, but had a look anyway, and also said it looked great. So today I feel very pleased. Not with myself, but for the people who do their job very well. Because that means I have results to be thankful for, and ultimately I can feel good about myself for the first time in ages.

PS- is it silly to want to get my surgeon a thank you card, and my ortho a big bunch of flowers? :O

Photos

Some updates and comparisons (I seriously need to ask my ortho if I can have her photos, because they're better than my measly camera-phone ones! lol). Let's start from the beginning, shall we?:

to:

to:

Not bad, eh? Just waiting for the balloon in my face to deflate now, and then I'll be able to see the true differences

Free from the stitch of doom at last!

Ok, it wasn't that bad, but I saw my surgeon today and he removed my lower right stitch for me. I told him it was irritating me so he had a look, and it had 'puckered' somewhat and looked a little sore, so he took it out. It's not infected or anything, just aggravated (as I was!).

He also talked to me straight away about my bad skin that I've suddenly developed post-op. He said that after the surgery you tend to get quite spotty and irritated (be it from whatever they put on your face or what, I don't know). Seriously my chin is hideous at the moment, and when the pimples first appeared it felt like a rash or that I'd been nettled. I usually have one or two spots, but I've got a whole colony at the moment! So will just have to wait for them to go in their own time (with the help of some face wash)



That was it really- he was pleased, I was pleased (I said thankyou to him about 50 times during the course of the appointment. To which he replied 'sweetie, we can't just sit and pat eachother on the backs for the good job' -just noticed that in writing that perhaps sounds patronising, but trust me it wasn't :D -. But I said thanks again nonetheless).

He pointed out that my smile/midline is off (which I have noticed but don't care) but it's quite natural. Perfection is not what I was after- normality was. And perfect isn't natural! I immediately thought of the stupid reality 'star' Heidi Pratt (quite) who's been in my glossy and silly mags recently because of the plastic surgery she's had done; she looks absolutely grotesque! (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1244464/Heidi-Montag-Before-plastic-surgery.html)


Anyway, that was a bit off topic! Sorry :P

He said because my lower lip and chin are tingly it means the nerve is just damaged so feeling will start to come back (it's called paraesthesia, don't you know). He also mentioned my facial movement generally, and that because they lift up the muscle from the face (of all the things to be squeamish about, this disturbs me a little!) it takes quite a while for them to get back to normal. Because I'm still swollen as well, my face does look a little odd when I smile.



So, anyway, he said not to chew for at least another month, but other than that everything is great. I'll see him again just for a last check up in 3-6 months.


PS- next week my family are going out for a meal. I'm going to go along and sit with my 2 year old niece. I can wipe her food off her chin, and she can wipe mine! :D

PPS- I weighed myself today and I haven't lost any weight. Seriously? Damn, even a broken jaw can't stop me it seems! Oh well, lol

Day 15

I don't know if time has gone quickly or not. At day 15 I feel totally fine, except I'm still swollen and of course eating like a 2 year old.

Also I've got a bit more space to have a poke around my mouth, and I've realised why my lower right stitch hurts so much (or did hurt..it's improved somewhat now it's starting to loosen)- the stitch goes from my gum to my cheek, so I'm kind of sewn together at the side. As such, I'm going to try not to try and pull myself apart lol

Thought I'd list what I've been eating too. I had little range of movement for the first week, so my main source of energy had to come from the shakes and soups (ugh). But I was still quite weak for most of the week. Anyway, since I've been able to open my mouth more, I've been eating anything 'normal' I can that is soft and in small enough pieces for me not to have to chew it (the 'fork smash' stage). I really think this has helped me so much, because when all you do is just drink everything, you can feel almost bloated, and that you're drinking endlessly. Like when I had SARME, I went straight back to eating normally as soon as I possibly could. There's no point being extra miserable in all this, and despite it possibly being nice to lose a little bit of weight, I'd rather enjoy a good dinner (as much as is possible to have a 'good dinner' when you can't chew) and some ice cream! Although the concept of snacking has gone out of the window, which I suppose is a good thing. Instead I've been eating 3 square meals, and then something sweet now and then. A lot of what I have has to be cut into tiny pieces, but it's not too strenuous really :D So I've been eating:

Breakfast:
Weetabix (mainly just for the first week)
Porridge (same)
Eggs
Cheese on soft toast (in tiny pieces)
Beans on soft toast (in slightly larger pieces as the juice softens the bread more. Also don't know if beans on toast is just a UK thing, but anyway...)

Lunch:
Ravioli
children's type pasta shapes in tomato sauces (with/without toast)
Yoghurts
Milkshakes (I don't really have any milkshake stuff except ice cream and milk, so I added cadbury's chocolate fingers, and a banana...random, but nice!) need to buy some sort of ice cream sauce though I think. I love butterscotch, but can't find it anywhere. Will have to make do with toffee
Nurten energy milkshake (I got given these from the hospital. Had them mainly in the first week but I still have some left. They are really nice, actually)

Dinner:
Pastas and sauce (spaghetti, or pasta generally)
Sausage casserole (with mash and yorkshire puddings)
Chicken with mash, well-done veg, yorkshire puddings and gravy
Fish in cheese sauce with veg (I tend to just have broccoli and cauliflower, as these are easiest to eat)

To satisfy the part of me that needs to eat something bad:
Custard (or creme anglais if you want to be posh)
Hot chocolate (not really bad, but then not really good either!)
Ice cream
my mum bought me a little apple crumble compote thing today, so I'm going to try this. Yum


Also oddly enough, I've gone right off tea. I usually don't really go for coffee, but that what I've been drinking. Really miss my cup of tea, but it just seems off-putting to me somehow. I might try it tomorrow, though

~
I see my surgeon this Friday, and I'm hoping to see my X-Rays or to find out exactly how much movement I had done. Also hope he does something about my stitches. Still none have come out or disolved. The lower ones have loosened, but that's it. Also I've discovered why the one on my right side has caused me so much pain- the stitch is attached to the side of my cheek too as well as to my gum- so I'm kind of sewn together at that side

I've been sleeping on my side now too. It isn't 100% comfortable, and I find myself having to move every so often, but it's nice to just have some more movement. I've decided that my swelling is just residual now, and sleeping upright won't do much more for me at this point.


Also, I feel like I can officially say: I can breathe 100% through my nose alone [at night], and it feels great! It's odd to think that my jaws affected my airways, but then it's all connected isn't it.

Ouch!

Well another post today!

I've just majorly pulled my lower right stitch by accident and it hurt so much that I've just been crying. I just don't know why it's so painful!

Also, I'm sure I'm starting to get a rash on my chin. It certainly looks and feels like a rash, but then how the hell can I get a rash? I haven't done anything! It's itchy now, but earlier it felt like I'd nettled my chin. And it's even more weird since my chin is still numb! So it's not like it's my nerves tingling, because I actually have little pimple things over it. I could just be really spotty all of a sudden, but they're very small and irritating spots if they are!

Ugh, I thought I was coping really well, but today I'm just annoyed

I'm going to go and listen to my favourite (calming) music* and take a long bubble bath!

* might as well share:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3DrL8pwu1k - Fave song by by fave band :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brLRS4q2MQQ

A little back-track...

First off- I hate these elastics! I'm sure I don't actually need them (well my surgeon didn't think I did, and my ortho just said they were more 'for comfort' than to actually do anything), and they are just irritating me no end. The left side is absolutely fine and I can't even tell I'm wearing them, but I have constant pressure on my lower tooth and it's driving my crazy. It's not painful, but it feels annoying like when you have something stuck between your teeth that you can't get out.

Anyway, thought I'd back-track to the actual day of the surgery, because I was so late to update I forgot to add the backstory of the day of the op!

So,
I had to be there for 7.00, so we got up at around 5.15 and set off at 6.45-50. Anyway I knew there would be no traffic- but my mum wouldn't listen!- and we ended up getting there at 6.15! lol So we waited in the car until 7, then went to the reception. There was quite a queue of people actually which surprised me, but because it was general theatre admissions, obviously everyone having a day surgery was there, and whoever else like myself who would be staying longer but didn't require coming in the night before. Anyway we were waiting there until about 8.00, and then me and 2 other people got called into the ward 'holding area' (you just get ready there and then wait to be called down to theatre). They said I was third on the list with my surgeon, and so I might as well get ready straight away. So I got on the gown and the stockings (which I put on wrong twice! oh well). Then a nurse came round and went through all my details, and an assisstant came round to go through the procedure and I signed the consent form. At this stage they took an inventory of all my stuff and packed them away in a secure box since we thought I'd be going in pretty quickly. Anyway, I didn't actually get called to theatre until 11.45. So all that time I could have read a book or something, but they'd already taken away all my stuff. My mum decided to wait with me all the same, but boy was it a long wait.

Anyway, I finally went down- a nurse came to get me and it was like a 1 minute walk to the theatre. I got laid down and was seen to by 3 men, who started my IV, etc. Anyway we got to talking about being left-handed, because I'm a leftie, and one of the men was as well. The other guys called me cack-handed (a nice derivative from our neck of the woods, meaning bascially lefties are clumsy, lol). Anyway my surgeon appeared over me at this point to see how I was, and to apologise for the wait. Then, I fell to sleep!

I don't really remeber much about the first day. I had an oxygen mask on all night, and went to the loo at around 3.00 in the morning. I was ok getting there until I stood up again, and felt very nauseous. Thankfully I was sick in the sink and not on the floor! It was just blood and my medication that I threw up. Not exactly pleasant, but since I didn't have a splint or anything to contend with, it was straight out and done with :P

The main thing I disliked being at the hospital was just who I happened to share my ward with. Of course it's not their fault, but it's hard to sleep when the lady next to you starts choking at 2 in the morning and can't breathe. I was always on edge for her sake! Also they never bloody turned the lights off- and if there's one thing I can't do it is to sleep with lights on. So during the days for example, I wanted to sleep but couldn't.
The lady opposite me was funny though. She must have been there for ages because she was walking around like it was her own house. She would go for walks with her handbag, come back and use the nurses station and facilties, come over to us and open our food for us or pour us some water.....at one stage she actually went and turned off my light for me because she must have heard or seen me getting frustrated by it.

My surgeon came and saw me on the second day and said I was doing fine. The next day he didn't come, just a load of other doctors having a good stare. The dietician came to chat with me on one of the days, and gave me some Nutren drinks (like complan) and both a liquid diet recipe book, and a soft food one too (since at this stage we didn't know if I'd have a splint placed after all. Thankfully I didn't need it) Then the hygenist came and took me to a room, showed me how to brush and gave me some tips.

I had to be wheeled down to have an X-ray taken on the day I went home too. I didn't mind going for it, but I didn't want to be stared at by all the 'normal' people, lol. I know people can't help but have a bit of a stare, although actually it wasn't bad as I thought it would be. Also when I was going home I had to wait in the main recption while my mum brought the car rund. Anyway as I was there a little girl walked past me with her mum and seriously she didn't/couldn't take her eyes off me as she walked past. I was just thinking 'please don't cry! please do't cry! lol- since my swelling was so bad and I looked like a sea monster (that's my analogy, anyway!) I just thought my appearance might be too much for a child to handle. But no, she just stared at me insolently like a child does, as if to say 'WTF happened to you?!?!' lol

Anyway, that's my brief additioal history for you :D

I see my surgeon this Friday, and I'm hoping he'll get rid of some of these stitches, and also tell my ortho that I don't need to wear these BLOODY ELASTICS!!! Grrrrr

Also yesterday I ate a proper dinner, just in really small bits. I had chicken, yorkshire pudding, mash, broccoli and cauliflower, and gravy. It's the first time I've felt like I've eaten a proper meal.
I've also been eating sausages, tuna and jacket potatoes, cheese on toast sans the crust (in small pieces), pasta and yoghurts.
My mum keep trying to get me to have a Nutren soup, but I cannot stand soup and you know what, if I can manage normal food just in small pieces or mashed up a little, then I don't need to blend or just drink everything. I'm not eating as much as I normally would naturally, but I'm still getting enough energy. Still drinking the shakes now and then, though, because they happen to be quite nice, unlike soups!