Wednesday, 25 November 2009


It's great being at the stage of treatment when your teeth don't need moving until after surgery, because no wire changes mean no pain afterwards! But, every so often the four front brackets on my lowers dig in to my lip during the night, and after a while it really begins to aggravate. This morning I woke up and it was killing me- I literally have indentatons on my brackets in my lip, and the one at the front was pretty red and sore.
I've tried to take a picutre, but you can't really see it clearly. Here they are, anyway:

In this on you can see the indentations pretty well. Below, the sort of white blob in the middle is the one that is really painful. It is a mark like the rest of them, it just looks like a blob here!

Needless to say, I will be wearing some gauze over the brackets tonight. I find a piece of gauze more effective to just cover the whole lot, and it doesn't matter since no-one will see me with it in! lol.
I wonder if it rubs because I'm a mouth-breather, so have a very dry mouth in which a bracket can stick to my lip in. Probably!

Saturday, 21 November 2009


Grrrr, no letter of confirmation from the hospital yet. I feel like a precarious surgery date needs at least some tangible foundation- in this case a letter acknowledging that I actually have had a surgery date booked for me. Honestly, I'm so paranoid! The secretary was a bit of an airhead (sorry, love) with my dates to see my ortho, but the surgeon rang and booked my surgery date (it's at a different hospital) so I don't know how the system works there.

It's because I don't know what the procedure is for these things. Also it's odd waiting to see when or if the surgery date will be cancelled (as my ortho and surgeon stressed it probably would be )- I have to simultaneously be ready for both eventualities- I either have the surgery on the 12th, or I don't, but either way I need to make sure I'm ready for the 12th! lol

Can anyone from the UK tell me what the general procedure is once you get a date? As in, will they ever acknowledge it with some form of communication to me?!?! I'll repeat, I am very paranoid! :O

~ Anyway,

I think at my next ortho appointment (December) I will have the surgical hooks placed too. I hear they are pretty annoying, and I don't exactly want to wear them for ages before the surgery, especially if it gets cancelled round one!

On a brighter note, this is a UK thing, but I thought the Children In Need song was a great idea. Not a fan of Peter Kay nowadays because he's abit of a fame-hog (and a food hog, by the looks of him now), but he does have good charity song ideas! Love it when it gets into Take That- and onwards! My cousin is 2 and she loves it :D  Just thought I'd share it:

Monday, 16 November 2009

Someone to Celebrate With!

I need people to chin-wag with now I have a surgery date (FYI to myself, it's not a definitive date! Must not get too carried away)! An anoymous well-wisher would suffice lol. My family are rather sick of me talking about it!

Anyway, I have a slight concern about my apearance post-op. My ortho mentioned that my jaw-length from my neck ratio is pretty long, so when the jaw is moved back, I could look like I have a bit of a double-chin thing going on. Not really a look I'd be thrilled with! However I can't imagine it would really be that bad. I mean, I'm not a waif, but I can't imagine I have too much chin fat!

I'm waiting to get my letter in the post as well; I want it to feel official, and then I can get on with my life until my next appointment comes (and it's only 2 more appointments with my ortho before the surgery! It seems odd to only have 2, but then the are a month apart!)

And I thought I'd get a picture to show how my midline is off, but looking at it I realise my upper jaw is seriously slanted! Perhaps it seems more so because I'm not exactly using high-tech equipment to get the photo, but still! Look:

It doesn't look like I'm biting down properly. And speaking of that, here's my 'party trick' of what I can do when I'm biting down:

And I'm supposed to be able to eat with this thing?!? lol

Friday, 13 November 2009


Just a few more things to add:
I have 5 weeks off uni at Christmas which is why I wanted the December date, but I was just looking at my online timetable, and the 12th of Janurary is actually the start of the 4th week, so that's quite good luck (but I have an exam the day before! Luckily it's not one that is too worrying or difficult- well, hopefully not- and the uni I chose isn't too far away from home...which is one of the reasons I chose it; for the time when my surgery would finally come around ). But, if that date is cancelled and moved to Februrary time, I will end up missing a few weeks of uni. Still, the main exams are not until May, so I can catch up relatively easily because I can work online and get my lecture notes, etc. So here's hoping to keep the date I have now!

And, I don't know if the high percentile for cancellations is just a local thing (because my surgeon treats patient's with oral cancer, if a surgery case comes up, they need the priority dates) or more broadly to do with the NHS, but my surgeon was saying that the rule is if my surgery is cancelled when I'm actually in the hospital on the day, they have to do my surgery within the next 21 days. So really, it would be better for me to have my surgery cancelled the day of the surgery, so my new date will be sooner! Not so good for my state of mind though, I suppose! lol

Other details:
I will be banded with elastics, and I may possibly have to wear a splint for the first week if they think I need it. The surgeon said hopefully this won't be the case, but I'll just have to wait and see. My ortho said my first week will just be liquids, and of course if I do have to have the splint I've got no choice! Not looking forward to this, because I don't even like soup, and I'm sure while milkshakes may be quite nice for a while, I will get sick of them quite quickly.

I will be in hospital for at most 3 days, but if I'm fit to go sooner, I can. My surgeon joked some people recovery quite well, but some go through a bit of a dying swan phase. I know anaesthetic and me don't go too well though, so I predict I will be there for the 3 days, swooning and crying! :D

I forgot to ask about what I can do for the swelling. He said they give me steroids on the first day to try and 1) reduce the swelling 2) pick up my mood a little bit, but they don't continue with that after the first day (for obvious reasons! I'll be alright walking in a jaw surgery patient, and walking out a pro body-builder!).
So, would you guys suggest ice packs or stuff like that?

I also won't be having a genio. I never considered this anyway, but my ortho says I don't need it.

I can't wait! I feel odd preparing for the 12th though, when it might be cancelled.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Surgery Date!!!!

Ok, my news-

12th Janurary = preliminary date. It's not December, but it's as near as damn it. I'm more than happy to take it!

I was soooo relieved when those words came out of his mouth. I did think if it wasn't December it would be Easter (which would then eventually need to be changed to June time to fit with my exam schedule), so when he said January I was pleasantly surprised (perhaps my mum was right that I'm too pesimistic, after all )

Of course this is just a preliminary date, however if it's cancelled the new date will still be around the same time, so it doesn't matter about that.

Also, on a second look at my molds, my ortho reckons I don't need more expansion after all.

I will be having around a 9mm movement all in all, with my upper jaw being rotated to fix the cant I have (or perhaps it's my lower jaw...I forget).

My ortho showed me a prediction of how I will look, but those things are never too accurate, and in the photo I ended up looking lip-less! because the computer doesn't account for lip structure, etc. So my ortho was quick to reassure me it is just a rough look as to how I might look. It was only a profile picture too, so not too much was gleaned from it. She also said it may take quite a while to come to terms with my facial changes, and I might feel like I'm not the same person anymore, but I dislike how my jaw makes me look now, so it's not like I'm going to be depressed once I no longer have an underbite. I'm rather looking forward to looking slightly different! And rather looking forward to being able to bite into a bloody sandwich! (among other things..)

The surgeon pointed out that my nose may also be slightly different and upturned, but not to a great degree. So long as I don't end up like Tubbs and Edward from The League of Gentlemen (great British comedy!):

He said I may possibly need a splint, but it depends on how the surgery goes. He'd rather not use one, mainly because of the hassle for me of not being able to clean my teeth, or really move my jaws at all, but it's a possibility. I'm prepared to feel like crap for a while afterwards, and from my SARME experience I already know the anaesthetic doesn't bode too well with me. But it's not something I'm dreading, more something I know will happen, and in the end it's totally worth it.

I will have drainage tubes, and possibly an NG too, if anyone cares to know!

My other dates then, are:

16th December- hour long appointment with my ortho to do some more molds and stuff

6th January- quick appointment to make sure the splint fits
12th Januray- possible surgery

(the recptionist got into a right tizz when she was booking in my appointments to fit around the 12th. She didn't realise the 12th was my actual surgery date at the other hospital, so she was booking me in to see my ortho, and confusing herself as to what she was working around....honestly, I had to help her out a few times. And she was blonde, but that's neither here nor there :lol )

I will also have an appointment made at the hospital where my surgery will be to do the pre-op tests a week or so before the operation (ugh, I dread these things...I don't need to give them a urine sample or anything, do I? )

Hmmm, think that's it. Yay

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

The Final Countdown da da da daaa, da da da, da, daaaa

Will tomorrow ever come?
I'm sure all this build-up will mean tomorrow actually turns out to be an anticlmax, in a sort of 'a watched pot never boils' sort of way.

In other news- I trapped my finger in a door today. The door is like an emergency door which you push a small handle outwards, and somehow as I pushed, my finger got stuck between the door that was opening (because the handle is right at the edge of the frame) and the frame next to it (like a double door). So to de-trap the finger I had to carry on opening the door against my finger. Ouch
It's still a bit sore, and the top of it was numb earlier, however it hasn't 1) swollen to an ungodly degree 2) gone black, so it's not too serious. And you know what, it's because I'm clumsy. It's a curse. I should know better than to use such types of doors! It was bound to happen...

hmm.... so is it tomorrow yet?

Sunday, 8 November 2009

Self-Pitying Phase Not a Good Look?

As per my own advice I gave myself a figurative slap so I'm not as 'emo' today. But still, I predict a few more spells to come, depending on what transpires :D The pity violin has been out, but for now I'm alright

I do wish this didn't matter as much to me as it does, though. But then I have practically grown up knowing that my jaw is retarded and it needs fixing. Stuck in my mind, much?

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Repressed Feelings, Pessimism and Realism

My last post was in jest, because I haven't been thinking about the clinic with my surgeon. But now I'm feeling quite a bit different.
My mum told me off yesterday for moaning, because she was talking about a holiday in May or June time, and I said you'd better wait because it's not like I'm going be having the surgery in December now, so it will be around that time. She told me not to be so defeatist, and that I always think of the worst. So I said, erm hello, my ortho said I was '6 months away' in January so I don't hang onto her every word, my first surgery date is 80% likely to be cancelled anyway, and it's already November. All in all, I said I was being a realist! I still wish I could have a December surgery though. And this has made me come to a realisation-

I hate waiting for things without resolution, and getting hopefull for things that turn out to elude me yet. As I get closer to major appointments (and this is the most major), I always end up making myself upset (like now, as I write this), because I dwell on the outcome; now, whether my surgery will be in December, or not. I'm not pessimistic because I want to be, but because I don't want to be disappointed, and pin my hopes on a 2009 surgery that won't happen. My underbite is literally the bane of my life; I don't enjoy feeling masculine and, in turn, ugly. I don't not being able to eat foods properly, neatly, normally. I don't enjoy having a lisp that makes me sound childish. All in all, if I were to be slightly melodramatic (but truthful all the same), all these things make me feel degraded

So, whenever the surgery eludes me, I get upset. To counteract this, I try not to feel hopeful about getting the surgery this year, so the blow won't come too hard if/when it turns out my surgery indeed will not be this year. But I still can't stop myself from hoping for a 2009 surgery. But my hope is incongruous, because I'm not optimistic.
 I can't describe what I mean, but perhaps people understand somewhat! I hate to sound like a whiny teenager who is talking nonsense, but I want surgery this year because, while I can cope with waiting until next year -'some time' next year- I don't relish thought. A December surgery would give me time to recover, without missing any school work, and I could start the new year positivly. To me, waiting until next year is a huge slap in the face, because then it will be a case of having to wait until my exams are finished- so, effectively, waiting longer than I need to. If I wait until about May or June time, then all I will be able to think is this could have been done ages ago.
I'll feel pratted around by the system- how hard is it for everything to be ready for December? Just to be clear about my annoyance on this- this is in terms of appointments with my ortho for molds, etc, as I don't see why there needs to be a huge wait between those- I think I've already mentioned my surgeon specialises in oral cancer, and I would never resent these patient's having priority over me

Well, again, I hope I don't sound like a selfish teenager who needs a slap. Though perhaps I could do with one

Sunday, 1 November 2009

A Mathematical Equation

A Mathematical Equation on the origins of me:


divided by:

squared by:


I think that's about right. The data in order; British Bulldog; David Coulthard; Bruce Forsyth; Jay Leno